Journey to Healing 132

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

¹⁶ Rejoice always,¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

You know how people say hospitals are scary places? Well, they are. I believe most of the fear comes from being in a place where you know your loved one is in pain and you cannot do a single thing about it. We lived in the hospital for 113 days and although this seems like a long time (it sure felt like it), there are families who spend much longer. The length of the stay does not add or subtract fear but over time, your story list grows.

Over those few months, we collected some funny moments that I wasn't able to sneak into our blog. Now, I am making a whole blog post about the ones I can remember!  So, sit back and enjoy a little lighter Lavender Longshot post:

• As many of you know, we have 2 nephews (4 & 2), a niece (7 months), and a niece/ nephew (-3 months). When the accident occurred, Derek's sister was left to try to explain to the 4 & 2 year old what happened to Uncle Derek (aka Uncle Dizzle) and why he was in the hospital. Courtney sat the boys down and explained that Uncle Dizzle has wrecked his motorcycle on the way to work and would be staying in the hospital until he felt better. Throughout the day, she noticed that the boys were a little more quiet and seemed to be pondering things. Huxley (the 2 year old) walked up to her in the middle of the afternoon and said: Huxley- "Mom did Uncle Derek hit a whale with his motorcycle?" Courtney- "No buddy he didn't hit a whale" Huxley- "Did he hit a moose?" Courtney- "No it wasn't a moose" Huxley- "Did he hit a turtle?" Courtney- "Well actually, it could have been a turtle!" For the past few months, we have laughed fairly hard over this conversation. There was also a "Get Well" card that must have been floating around card chains, with a turtle on the front with a big band-aid on it. Whenever we received one of these cards, we laughed even harder. So now you know if anyone ever asks us what happened, we will just say he hit a turtle.

• For the first few weeks of the ICU, Derek was only able to communicate through clicks, head nods, and hand motions (which is was NOT good at). Obviously, there is bound to be some funny situations coming out of this situations! If you know my mother, you know she is a wonderful, caring woman with quite possibly a heart of gold. She also loves family devotions and singing. One night, I was down on the 4th floor getting ready for bed while she stayed up in Derek's room. We made it a priority that Derek never sat alone, if at all possible. As my mother sat there, she asked Derek if he would like her to read some scripture to him. He shook his head no, so my mom grabbed her Bible and started reading. After she finished reading, she asked Derek if he would like her to sing a few hymns to him. He again shook his head no. And then mom began to sing. We all laugh now because mom said, "Well I thought he was so out of it that he surely didn't know WHAT he wanted!" A week later when Derek was able to mouth words, mom asked what scripture he wanted to read and he mouthed "Ecclesiastes".  She then proceeded to read him Psalms because she thought "he must not have understood how depressing Ecclesiastes" can be! I then informed her that Ecclesiastes is Derek's favorite book of the Bible and he just sat there and smiled the whole time.

• As I said before, we were very careful that there was always someone there to sit with Derek while he was in the ICU. One night, Derek's Uncle Kevin came to visit. Uncle Kevin is a pastor in Cincinnati (and officiated our wedding!) and was sitting with Derek late one Friday night. I went downstairs to get my stuff for bed and when I came back up to the room, I was so disappointed I didn't have my cell phone on me! I quietly walked into the dark room to see Derek sleeping in the corner. I looked across the room just to see Uncle Kevin standing under the 1 single light in the room. The light was shining down like a spotlight and Uncle Kevin was standing there with his Bible open practicing his sermon for Sunday. He looked like an angel! As I began to laugh, it took Kevin a minute to figure out what I was laughing at.  He then caught on and said, "It was the only light I could figure out how to turn on!"

• Derek has this weird obsession with Red Panda's. If you dont know what it is, look it up...and then text Derek ideas on how to steal one from the zoo. He LOVES these little furry creatures and has been talking about getting one for years. Well, one of his friends must have actually been listening because 2 weeks into our stay, one of his buddies sent us a stuffed Red Panda. This was while Derek was still a little loopy, and he was just so excited. For the first time EVER, Derek asked me to "Please take a picture with me and my red panda". He then continued to sleep with it the next few nights until he became a little more aware that he was sleeping with a stuffed animal. It was SO precious.

• Once we left the ICU on July 13th, it was really fun just to talk about the last month and try to figure out what he remembered and what he completely forgot. When I was first testing his memory, I asked him how many nephews he had (he held up 2 fingers), if he remembered his Nashville birthday party (head nod), if he remembered where he worked (head nod), if he remembered our wedding (shakes head no). For a second that movie about the woman forgetting her husband flashed before my eyes..and then he just started laughing. So- you know what I was up against. A semi- delusional man with a sense of humor. Now, the layout of the hospital room is important here. If you were laying in Derek's bed, straight in front of you would be the TV, little nurses station, and a GIANT obnoxious bright clock. To the left was my little nook with a pull out chair and a tray. About 3 weeks in, my brother-in-law Caleb spent the night with Derek. The next morning, Derek was mouthing over and over to Caleb and I something that we just couldn't understand. FINALLY after about 10 minutes of guessing, I said, "Are you trying to say Crack house?!?" He shook his head yes, and then rolled his eyes. Naturally weeks later I had to ask him what he was talking about. Derek explains that at some point during the night, he woke up in a shady basement. He said he was looking around and he was sitting in a bean bag chair but couldn't get out. There were doctors and nurses around and he looked over and saw Caleb sleeping under some table (when that chair pulls out, the tray sits high enough that it would look like someone was "sleeping under a table"). He said he remembers trying to get out of whatever place Caleb got them into and remembers thinking "Caleb is into some shady stuff". Derek still swears to this day that he was in at least 5 different hospital rooms (including the crack house) throughout his stay in Indy. He was only in 2 rooms the whole time.

• There was this one time his tooth was a little loose. He asked the nurse and she said "We will have to get a dentist to come in and take it out for you." While we were at dinner, Derek texted me and said, "I just went ahead and pulled it out myself".

We always received SO many cards and packages in the mail. I am fairly certain that at least 90% of people who have kept up with our blog mailed us something. It was crazy, encouraging, and always so much fun. A consistent little letter writer was Derek's Aunt Jill. It got to the point where Derek would grab her card first to see what ridiculousness she had come up with this time. Each card was unique (written on an old Baking Soda box, etc,) and always included a random family photo with a hilarious caption on the back. I kept these photos and would hang them up in our little room just to give the nurses a good laugh.

This summer, we also realized we have terrible luck with vehicles. On June 15th, obviously Derek's motorcycle was totaled. We owned 2 other cars, his truck and my little sedan. While Derek was in the hospital, we decided just to sell the truck since it wouldn't be an use to us right now. Right after we sold the truck and rented out our house, we sent the last little thing we owned off to live with our in-laws while we were in Chicago. I quickly realized having a car in Chicago is basically pointless and would only be costing us money. About 8 weeks later, I was walking with my brother-in-law when I just casually asked, "So, hows Foxy Roxy Rallie??" He stops and says, "Why? Did Courtney tell you?" "Nooooo..." Caleb then goes on to explain that within the first 24 hours of being parking in Indiana, someone forgot to put their car in park and it actually rolled into our car. Actually, pretty funny. Thankfully, the person had insurance, turned themselves in (THANK YOU!!) and our car was fixed in no time. We got our car back in Chicago and left the next day for Indiana. Within the first 30 minutes of our drive, a rock flew up and busted my windshield. Womp womp. Then yesterday I was at Target and watched these two women with huge carts try to squeeze between mine and another car. They ALMOST fit...before each of them hit my rear view mirror with their carts, as I was standing there loading groceries into my trunk. It is seriously almost comical at this point! Also, many of you have asked about our vehicle situation. Eventually Derek will be able to get himself in and out of most cars. We will need to purchase him a car with hand controls. They suggest either coupes or hatchbacks (wider doors and easy access to trunk), but of course Derek wants a truck! We will see.

• My last story for today happened on our anniversary which was during our stay in Chicago. August 3rd also happened to be the first day when Derek was cleared to eat solid foods! I attempted to plan a romantic anniversary dinner in the park with the help of my friends Julene & Sarah. The first 20 minutes of the night was going great! I was able to surprise Derek and we sat down at the park to begin our meal. A few minutes after we prayed, a man walked up to our table and asked, "Is anyone sitting here?" I am sure Derek and I both looked a little confused and I said, "Excuse me?" He asked again if anyone was sitting here and motioned to the seat next to me. I said "Well technically no but we are enjoying our anniversary dinner." He said, "Ok." And then continued to plop himself down beside us and just watch the runners for the next 15 minutes. I did manage to sneak a picture, mainly because I could not believe what was happening!

That is all for now! I will probably sneak in more stories here and there throughout the next few blogs. I really just do not want to forget some of these memories and I hope you enjoyed them.

Ps. The first photo? That is a Standing Frame chair! Derek is hoping to get one for his office one day.

With Love,

The Lavenders

Our Journey to Healing Day 121

Psalm 71:5-8

⁵ For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord,     my confidence since my youth. ⁶ From birth I have relied on you;     you brought me forth from my mother’s womb.     I will ever praise you. ⁷ I have become a sign to many;     you are my strong refuge. ⁸ My mouth is filled with your praise,     declaring your splendor all day long.

Isn't it amazing how fast time goes when you are in the middle of a major transition or adjustment of life? Derek and I have both been looking back over the last 4 months and cannot believe how quickly it has slipped by. Now don't get me wrong, there were a few long stretches in there but we are now onto the next stage of our journey- No More Living In a Hospital!

Derek was officially released back into the real world on October 5th around 10am and it was very exciting but the actual process was very anti-climatic. We gathered up all our belongings and the valet man was literally just leaning on my car watching me as I tried to get all the boxes, bags of clothing and supplies into a 4 door sedan.  Once we were ready to rock & roll, we said goodbye to our therapists and nurses and received a lovely sheet of paper that said "Notice of Discharge". We headed for the front door, signed out for the last time, and walked out into the beautiful fall air.

It was a 3 hour drive from the rehab facility to our new apartment. Although it was the longest drive to freedom we have ever been on, we had a nice time. Remember, this was Derek's first car ride since June! The whole experience was a little surreal. Derek made the comment that he almost felt like he was floating, which is really crazy to think about. I have also now realized I have to be very careful with my braking and accelerating!   The meal of choice was Chick-Fil-A and we parked in our first ever handicap parking spot, which made us both feel very rebellious.

Our first few days home were incredible, overwhelming, scary, and obviously an adjustment. We are only a week in and we are learning we need to be easy with setting plans and having expectations for our day.  Nothing too traumatic has happened and no one has fallen or been any more injured. Our new apartment has a really great setup for Derek and we are very thankful! When we signed the lease on the place, I didnt get a chance to see the apartment, therefore we were just praying the "roll in shower" was actually a roll in shower. And it is a roll in shower!

 Since we are renting out Bunker furnished, we needed a few things for our new home. Although I do love taking my sweet time shopping, we felt it would be best to pick out everything at one store and then have them deliver all the items at once. When we arrived at the local furniture store, I was given one hour to scramble around and find what we needed for the apartment. As I ran around, Derek was rolling behind me saying, "Walk with a purpose love!" Talk about stressful!  I am happy to announce that we were able to pick everything out and the final pieces were delivered yesterday.

We started outpatient this week which was just an initial evaluation. The sessions went well and we should be getting our full schedule by next week. These outpatient sessions will focus on areas such as wheelchair skills, floor recoveries (which thankfully we haven't needed yet!), and upper body strength. Since we won't be spending as much time in sessions as we did in Chicago, it is nice that we can practice skills on our own. After our session on Tuesday, we went around and Derek pushed himself over a mile and a half practicing the sidewalks and inclines of downtown.

Thank you for your continued prayers as we transitioned from one city to the next. I wish I could easily express all the changes that we have been adjusting too but there really isn't a simple or flattering way to explain. I know without a doubt we will get the hang of this, but like everything, it takes time. We actually keep comparing this situation with having a newborn. Once the hospital gives you the O.k. to leave, you feel like, "Wait. What? You think we are responsible enough to handle this on our own? ". And then the next few days are trying to figure out sleep schedules (Derek still needs to move every few hours to keep from applying too much pressure to one area for too long), how to bath, how to get ready in the morning, how to get in and out of a car, how to break down the wheelchair without destroying the side of our car, how to find new hobbies since a majority of things he loves to do just will not be an option right now, and how to continue pursing each other and laughing over spilled milk when all we kinda want to do is just forget this whole thing, move back to Bunker, and go on a run together. As my friend Jennifer always says, "Life is hard."

 We are learning that it is o.k. to feel both joy, frustration, and sorrow mixed throughout the day. Without the sadness, we wouldn't learn how to rely on Him. And without the joy and laughter, we wouldn't learn to rejoice in the life we have been given. As we move forward with week 2, we pray we can knock off at least 20 minutes to the morning routine and that Derek's skin integrity gets a little better. Thank you friends.

P.S. We have a fundraiser still going on with our wonderful friends at Mudlove. To check out the campaign, please visit www.mudlove.com/lavenders You will not be disappointed with your Lavender mug or bracelet, I promise!

With Love,

The Lavenders

Our Journey To Healing Day 103

Philippians 4:13

 ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Isn't it amazing how we can remember the most random little things (like the exact moment as a child when I learned how to spell my maiden name: Bundenthal) or how huge memories can sometimes just be blocked out? For some reason, the whole concept of memories really has not amazed me until now. How cool is it that God allows us to REMEMBER things? He already knows what has happened and what will happen, yet He allows us to recall our past.

As I laid in bed last night, I let my mind wander back to the night before the accident. I have toyed with really living that night out before but never would let myself go there. Last night, I was pretty emotional as I remembered our last night in Bunker, our last night without a wheelchair, our last night together for 100+ days.

It was Tuesday, June 14th and I had just gotten off of work around 5pm. I headed toward home with the thought of swinging by Kroger and getting dinner started. Derek texted me around 5:15 to say he would be home later because of a work project. I stopped at Kroger and grabbed a few groceries but decided to swing by a local boutique that I had a giftcard at. I thought I would do a little "after work" shopping before officially heading back to Bunker.

In typical LeAnne style, I got caught up at the boutique and ended up really liking one of the pricier items in the store. I texted and called Derek to ask if he minded if I spent above my gift card amount on this jean jacket. He didn't answer (he was riding back home), so I went ahead and pulled the trigger on the overpriced item hoping he would appreciate fashion as much as I did.

When I got home, he was actually already there standing on the front porch tucking Bison (his motorcycle) in for bed. He was giving me the "eye" as I climbed out of the car with the groceries. I was  trying to hide the boutique bag between the Kroger bags when he said, "Whatcha got there??" I then confessed I bought a jean jacket that I loved and insisted on convincing him how much I would wear the jean jack and how versatile it was. He gave me a VERY hard time so I just decided to stuff the bag in my closet in hopes he would just forget about it.

I started to get dinner ready while Derek prepared our nightly ritual. Pulling our couch out into a bed, getting Friends started, and setting up our Yahtzee game. Derek was actually doing the Military Diet which meant dinner was 3oz of chicken, a cup of broccoli, 5 saltine crackers and 1/2 a banana. Yum!! We stayed up a little later (9:30) that night and I decided to just wait to do dishes until the next morning.

Early that next morning (5:45am), I woke up to Derek getting ready to leave for work. I shouted down from the loft "Are you sure you don't want to take the truck? I think it rained last night and it is suppose to rain tonight". He said he was good, yelled back that he loved me, and shut out door. As always, I laid there listening to the screen door shut and Bison fire up. I said a little prayer for him and laid my head back down. The next time I opened my eyes was to realize I never received a text saying he was safe. I texted him twice. Once around 6:40 and another at 6:50. I received the call from Derek's phone around 7:14am from David at Family Services asking me to get to Eskenazi Hospital as soon as possible.

The next few hours I remember to a tee. I threw on my new jean jacket and rushed out of Bunker. I drove like a mad woman towards downtown , trying to get Siri to give me directions to Eskenazi Hopsital through tears. It was a disaster. And as you can imagine, I did not have time to clean up last nights dinner, which meant that when my fantastic brother and sister-in-law made it back to Bunker 2 days later, IT SMELLED SO BAD.

So there you go. Memories.

For the record, I wore that jean jacket EVERY SINGLE DAY for the first 2.5 weeks in the ICU (it was freezing in there). It is now a running joke every time I pull on my little jean jacket.

A lot has happened since our last update and I am so happy to say that Derek's neck brace is FINALLY off! It is so nice to be able to see him looking a bit more like himself. The whole physical act of removing the neck brace, aka scarf, was a little less dramatic than I was hoping. A short coat doctor came in around 6:30pm and just said, "You can take your neck brace off now." And in 10 seconds, Derek had the brace off and then threw it at me. Ta-da! His neck muscles seem to be catching on quickly and he doesn't seem sore. He also has been sleeping with a pillow, which he wasn't allowed to do before! Side note: We have learned that when short coat doctors come to talk to you, the news is always good. The long coat doctors are the ones to be scared of. A long coat doctor would never send in a short coat doctor to give a bad announcement, like "We are sending you back to Northwestern Hospital because you had a blood clot." Those announcements are saved for long coat doctors. Now you know.

Along with the neck brace, he has also been not wearing his Ted Hose. In some earlier photos, you may have notices he had on white stocking which were helping his blood pressure remain stable. Since the accident was over 3 months ago, they have allowed us to start weaning off the hose and he can now just wear regular socks. This is made getting ready  in the morning much easier and we now don't get as many stares on the streets.

Last Wednesday, we found out that he has been fighting two different infections. He is now on antibiotics for both but these often leave him feelings very tired. He is a major trooper and actually hasn't missed a single therapy session. Because of the infections, we were actually given the private room we always wanted. Not quite the way we dreamed of having our own room but we will take it!

Since the infections are still clearing, we may need to stay here a little longer than expected. Our release date is still up in the air but we should be back home by the middle of October. I am heading to Indy next week to move us into our new apartment which we are very excited about.

In closing, please be praying for the infections, energy level, and also his heart rate. It continues to be fairly high.

And thank God today for memories.

With Love,

The Lavenders

Journey to Healing Day 92

1 Peter 5:10-11

¹⁰ And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. ¹¹ To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Boy. What a crazy 1.5 weeks we have had! I am so excited to finally let you in on a little secret we've been keeping since this weekend. But first, here are some things God has been teaching us:

The first big blessing came through a friend who suggested we meet up with their friends for dinner. Their friends (Mr. & Mrs. R) happened to be in Chicago for work and happily agreed to let us treat them to pizza in exchange for a few hours of their time and wisdom. Mr. R was injured years ago and happens to be right at the same level as Derek. As we watched this power couple talk about their life over the last 25 years, we couldn't help but feel incredibly encouraged. They make living look fun and paralysis look easy. We were able to ask all our questions and just loved the chance to meet with a couple who has "been there and done that."

A few days later, I was able to meet up and spend a little one on one time with Mrs. R. I am telling you all, this woman is amazing. One thing she touched on was the fact that just because our husbands can't walk here on earth does not mean that God has not restored them (see verse above).  I have been reminded daily that walking is walking and although Derek cannot, this does not mean he is broken. Is it inconvenient? Yes. Is it frustrating? Absolutely. But who of us actually feel unbroken anyway? I am looking forward to seeing God work through our family and watching my husband dominate this new lifestyle. In a strange way, I am really thankful we are going through this challenge now instead of 30 years from now. I believe we will live more fully, love a little more deeply, and take life a little less seriously.

Along with meeting new friends, God has really switched things up on us this last week and we are so excited that we will actually be moving back to Indy the first week in October *insert me squealing with you*. Crazy, right?

Last week, we were both getting very frustrated with the apartment search and struggling to find a place that would fit our needs. We really needed a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment with a roll in shower...within walking distance of Derek's work. We need the extra bedroom because Derek will be occasionally working from home and when guests come over, we will need to floor space for Derek to be able to get around in the morning. We also need an extra bathroom to have space for his shower chair, etc. A roll in shower is a game changer and will keep him from having to transfer literally 5 times in order to get ready for work. I was having a very hard time finding anything that met all our needs.

So, with that in mind, we received an email last week from a friend who offered to help us find an apartment. I was relieved! And boom, within 24 hours, we had our dream apartment lined up and we received our lease yesterday. It is AMAZING how God has just been providing for us right when we start to get a little nervous. The people that we have come in contact with have been nothing short of incredible.

The original plan was to stay here in Chicago for at least another 6 weeks to participate in their outpatient program.  Last week, we learned that we could be accepted into Indy's outpatient program and insurance would work with us to get the hours we need. After weighing the pro's and con's, we have decided to move back to Indy and get settled into our new environment as opposed to waiting until winter sets in! We are just so excited (and a little nervous) but mainly just super excited. It sounds as though our release date will be the end of September or first week in October.

We also did Derek's wheel chair evaluation yesterday and his official chair should be ordered by the end of the week. The session was a lot of questions, measuring, and trying out different seats, backs of chairs, and checking out rims. It is amazing what goes into a chair! He will hopefully have his real chair by Christmas but until then, he will continue to use a loaner chair.

And in closing and a slight side note, our amazing friends over at Mud Love have designed the most adorable mugs and bracelets that do quite a good job of representing both Derek and I. Aka, they designed a little goat wearing Derek's glasses. I am IN LOVE and we are so appreciative of so many people coming behind us to help move us forward. So, if you like quirky mugs, please check out their design here: https://www.mudlove.com/products/lavenders?variant=22552829892

P.S. I just listened to Derek try to cancel his dentist appointment in Indy. It was pretty funny. He should be getting new teeth around February and HOPEFULLY the neck "Scarf" collar comes off this week!!

Also (I know, I already have a PS.), thank you SO much to everyone who supported the Instagram auction that happened on Monday and Tuesday. We cannot get over how generous people are. We appreciate you all!

Ok. I am actually done.

With Love,

The Lavenders

Journey to Healing Day 80

Luke 12:25-28

²⁵ Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life.²⁶ Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? ²⁷ Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.

We are welcoming in September 1st with wide open arms and with extra hope. Our official release date from the hospital has been bumped back to September 28th but that means we are less than a month away from living in the same place! As always this week has brought both exciting progress and a bummer setback. Either way, we are excited to see what September brings. After all, September is Spinal Cord Injury Awareness Month!

Good news first, deal?

Derek has made some exciting steps this week and although they may be small to some, they are huge to us. Last week, he had a CT scan on his eye to check in on his orbital fracture.  As you may remember, Derek broke his right orbital bone (essentially his socket) as a result from the helmet. We believe he must have slid on his belly since his face took quite the beating (broken jaw, busted teeth, broken eye socket, loss of hearing) and are praising God he was wearing a full faced helmet.

When we left Indy, they were unsure as to whether he would need a follow up eye surgery and had warned him that he may develop double vision. Praise the Lord neither will happen! Derek's eye is still broken but the fracture is healing well. Since the muscle which can cause double vision is a far away from the break, the doctor gave us the thumbs up for Derek to wear his contacts! Not only can he see better, but he continues looks more like himself.

We have also had a lot of questions on the neck brace and we are excited to announce that it should be coming off around September 15th! This is another reason we are excited for September. Obviously we want what is best for him, but that neck brace is annoying. Derek now affectionately calls it his scarf. We will be having a bonfire for "the scarf" as some point this fall, if anyone wants to join.

This week we have also worked on car transfers. On the 12th floor, the rehab institute does have a car which you can practice on. He has tried it twice and it is going well! Once we are discharged, we will be a one car family for at least a year as we work through the grant process of getting the necessary adaptions for Derek's future car. We did learn that Derek has to go back to Drivers Ed which will teach him about driving with a disability. We hope to have him back on the road (and in a vehicle with 4 wheels) by the end of next year.

The next big improvement has been with his "pop overs".  At the beginning of rehab (July 13th), in order to get him into a wheelchair from his bed, they had to use a lift to lower him into the chair. Around the first of August, they switched from the lift to a slide board transfer. A slide board is a basically a long, thin board which ie literally slides on from point A to point B. This week, he has started working on pop overs which is moving from point A to point B only using his arms. He will lean forward and "pop" himself up with his arms as he moves sideways. As he continues to regain strength, the pop overs will continue to become easier and easier. We are very excited about this next step.

Bad news second.

At the beginning of last week, we noticed a bruise starting to form on the bottom of his right heel. It was about the size of a dime and continued to get darker and darker as the days went on. This past Tuesday, the doctors became concerned because the bruise was not healing and instead now looks more like a blood blister. For the average Joe, a bruise or blood blister is no big deal but for Derek, skin integrity is incredibly important. Since his blood does not flow as well below his level of injury and he is on a high dose of blood thinners, any break in the skin can lead to a serious infection. Christopher Reeves actually passed away from an infection as a result from skin issues!

With that information, we had to step down from the Exo- Skeleton research study on Tuesday. The doctors were concerned that walking with the Exo could lead to more issues with the foot and we do not want that bruise to break open. Obviously we are pretty disappointed. He was making such great progress (900-1200 steps per day) and we really enjoyed working with the research team here. We are confident there will be other studies we can be a part of but disappointed that this one came to an end so quickly. The good news is that they are still able to do E-Stem on him, which is essentially putting little stickers on his legs which then triggers his muscles to react (he was doing E-stem in the robot as well). Although it isn't as great as walking, it is something!

Please continue to be praying for Derek's body. Since he is on  blood thinners, he bruises very easily and we need to be extra careful that nothing breaks open. His heart rate is also pretty high (resting heart rate around 120 bpm) and we have been praying that is slows down to a more reasonable pace (60-80). We are reminded each day that worrying does not add any value to the situation but only takes away joy. But as most would, I still worry about that foot. Please be praying for us!

P.s. If you read ahead to read the bad stuff first, you are just as cynical as I figured most of you be :)

Happy Labor Day Weekend!

With Love,

The Lavenders

Our Journey to Healing Day 72

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

Good morning friends and family! I realize these blogs have become fewer and further between and I am looking forward to catching you up on all sorts of informative things that have happened to us since arriving in Chicago. And since there are so many things, I have decided to do this in the form of a Top 10 list! Now, do not judge the numbers on the side as they do not reflect the importance of the item. They just merely help me keep track of how many points I have left to make.

Ok. Are you ready? Here we go!

10.  Derek's room is on the 9th floor of RIC (the rehab facility). I was actually a little disappointed in the beginning because the 7th floor is dedicated to just spinal cord injury (SCI) patients. We are on the "catch all" floor which contains a variety of injuries. I am now no longer disappointed. The 9th floor has been amazing and we are really enjoying our team of doctors, therapists, and nurses we work with each day. Our floor is actually the protocol floor for the new rehabilitation hospital which opens in March 2017. Because of this, we have an awesome gym and get to try out all the new fancy equipment.

9. Every day he gets time with each of his therapists which help him with different skills. The first is PT (Physical Therapy). This group helps with muscle training, keeping his balance, laying & sitting, and overall strength. Eventually, they will be the ones who teach us car transfers and mobility in the home. We love our main PT, Mo.

8. His OT (Occupational Therapy) team focuses mainly on life skills. They have been helping him learn how to get dressed, transferring in and out of his chair, and also balance. Derek actually dressed himself yesterday and I was SO proud. It did take 1.5 hours but shorts and a tee- shirt has never looked so good. Zoe is our main OT and she loves goats. So obviously, I love her.

7. The RT (Recreational Therapy) group really gets to do the fun stuff with us. Their goal is to get us back in the community and to teach Derek adaptive ways to continue doing things he loves. We did get to go to a driving range and earlier this week we were able to take a Hand Bike out on the track. He loved it! Shana, our RT, is always very intentional in making sure we get 1:1 time and has been an awesome source of knowledge. Check out Adaptive Sports to see where I hope our next vacation can be.

6. His neck brace. Don't worry friends, that thing is coming off kinda soon. Many people have asked why he still has that bad boy on. As a result of the accident, he did fracture a little piece of his skull on his "knowledge knot". I actually have no idea the medical terminology, but it is the little knot on the back of you head. The brace will be coming off on September 15th and we are really looking forward to that day.

5. Our timeline is slowly becoming more clear with each passing week! Derek will be an inpatient here until the end of September and then will be released for Day Rehab. We will continue with Day Rehab for at least 6-8 weeks here in Chicago. Day Rehab is a program where he will continue meeting with OT & PT at least 3x a week for a few hours each visit. Since he will be cleared medically, we can then go home at night after rehab! No more overnight hospital stays!!

The family that has been lending me their condo has been incredible and is allowing us to continue living here until we return to Indy. The condo is set up really well for Derek and he has already been here a few times. In fact, we cooked dinner together here last night!

Although we have enjoyed our stay in Chicago, we are looking forward to moving back to Indianapolis hopefully by Christmas.

4. Many of you have asked about  Bunker and life after rehab. We have had some great life talks over the last few weeks and have made some decisions. For those of you who know Bunker, you know it is not a realistic housing option for someone with a SCI. We have decided to pursue renting an apartment downtown for the foreseeable future.

Renting downtown has become our best option due to the fact that Derek will not be able to drive for awhile but is still planning on returning to work. Our hopes is to find an apartment very close to his office!

Soap Box time. ADA (the American Disability Act) does require apartment complexes to have a certain number for handicap accessible apartments, which is awesome. They DO NOT require those apartments to be rented by individuals who need an accessible apartment, which is not awesome. Do you see where I am going here? One apartment complex had only 3 accessible apartments, and another only had 4. So, out of the 3 large complexes I called, there are only 13 total apartments we could live in and they are all booked. Some apartments even give discounts to people to encourage them to rent out a handicap space since they are "less desirable".

We are hoping to start renting in December so I am a little too early to start our hunt anyways. Please pray with us that we can find an apartment perfect for Derek and very close to work.

In regards to Bunker, we will eventually sell and start over our housing dreams. So if you want a Tiny House, let us know :)

3. Derek's positive attitude continues to blow me away and encourage others on the floor. We have been on the Spinal Cord Floor a few times for different sessions and I cannot get over how well Derek is handling it all. Obviously we see a variety of attitudes and families dealing with similar situations and I can't help but know it is because of Derek's faith which sets him apart.

2. We are week 3 into the Exo-Skeleton and they have been keeping him very busy! He usually walks in the Exo for at least an hour a day. After the first day of training, the doctor called him their "golden child". I wish I could show you all pictures but no videos/ photos regarding the study is allowed on social media. The study ends around September 17th. They will then do a final MRI and see if there were any positive results.

1. The amount of love and support we have received is incredible. I wish I could reach out to each one of you individually and just give you a big squeeze. Derek normally gets a piece of mail at least every day, which is amazing! We had a visitor last week who was wondering the hall looking for Derek and the nurse said, "I assume you are looking for Derek? He always has so many visitors!"

Derek's mailing address is: RIC Attn: Derek Lavender 345 East Superior Street Chicago, IL 60611

Also, thank you all for the financial support as well. We are absolutely blown away by the GoFundMe page, gift cards, checks, and care packages we have received.  The average cost of getting someone with a SCI off the ground the first year is $250,000. Don't worry, it gets a lot less expensive after year 1!! :) We just really appreciate you ALL. Please know it is all going towards an incredible man and helping him regain his independence.

Well. How is that for the world's longest Top 10 list?? For prayers, please continue to pray for his infection. The fever broke this weekend but we are continue antibiotics for the rest of the week. Also, pray for the roommate situation. We are about to be on roommate #5 and we are really praying for another Ryan in our lives!

P.S. This photo is circa 2010 when Cerulean had their Ugly Sweater competition. He borrowed his dad's sweater and when we got back to his house after the Christmas party, his dad was upset that Derek threw the sweater on the dryer. Jay said, "Hey hang that back up! I was going to wear it tomorrow!". This picture always just makes me so happy.

With Love,

The Lavenders

Our Journey to Healing Day 64

1 Peter 1:6-7

⁶ In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷ These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

This morning has been hard. If you have been following along since June 15th, you know Derek was given the diagnosis of an incomplete T-6 spinal cord injury. When you have a spinal cord injury, obviously the swelling and trauma to the spine will decrease more each week. They say most patients really won't know the extent of their injuries until they are 6-12 months out from the accident.Although mobility may increase or decrease over a period of those months, it is still important to check do bi-weekly checks to see if there has been any changes.

 Since we are 9 weeks out from the accident, they did a test this morning which evaluates his progress. Unfortunetly, we learned his abilities actually leave him as a complete spinal cord injury.The differences between complete and incomplete is essentially the total damage done to the cord. Although people have walked again after a complete injury, it is incredibly rare and essentially a nail in the coffin of our walking dreams. This is incredibly disappointing for both of us.

The injury itself occured at the T-6 level but he is currently functioning more as a T-4. This means the damage is not just focused in the T-6 area which has caused him to feel nothing below the nipple line. We had a good cry about it this morning and are both feeling a bit heavy today.

Honestly, I had a blog written about his process for getting a wheel chair and other exciting things but I just can't do it right now. I literally can't focus on much more than not ugly crying in front of Derek's new roommate. Please pray we will swallow this news with grace. Obviously we still have so much to be thankful for and news could have been much worse. Derek has truly come SO far and I am so thankful he is still his quirky self. But ouch. We are just feeling a little down.

With Love,

The Lavenders

Our Journey to Healing Day 57

Romans 8:28

²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Happy 8 weeks since the accident occurred! Thank you for reading, loving, and encouraging us along for 8 weeks. I cannot believe how quickly these weeks have gone and also how much can change for the better and also for the worst. Obviously 8.1 weeks ago, life was "normal". I just came home from buying an overpriced jean jacket that Derek gave me a hard time about. We watched a couple of episodes of Friends while playing Yahtzee. Derek was on the Military Diet, so he had a hard boiled egg and 3 oz of grilled chicken for dinner. We made plans for that weekend which included heading to the golf course for the first time this summer. And then, BAM (literally). Life changed directions and here we are in Chicago, moved out of our favorite place, and sleeping in separate locations. I've eaten more deep dish pizza than I share to admit and Derek laughs more frequently at my jokes. Our days and weeks have started to smear into one giant hospital stay. Weekends are strange because there really is no "weekend" but nor is there 12 hour work shifts. As they were checking Derek's mental capacity last week, they asked him what day of the month it was...and we both had no idea!

He has really  shown some really great improvements over the past week. They have started to measure his strength through a squeeze test and also a few hand maneuverability tests. We saw his strength points go up by at least 10 in this week alone. The average strength squeeze for a guy his age is about 100 in the left hand. Derek's is 12. As you can see, he has a long way to go in order to regain his strength but we have no doubt he will get there! His right squeeze is more in the 80's now.

The other big goal has been to help him regulate his blood pressure. You know the feeling when you stand up too fast and get light headed? Well when you sit as long as Derek has, those little blood vessels get lazy and don't push the blood up to help with dizziness. Since he has lazy blood vessels, they have started working with Derek on a tilt table and a standing chair. The tilt table is basically a long board which they strap him too and then raise him up to a standing degree. They have to do this slowly to ensure he doesn't pass out. We have been working with the tilt table for the past week and they have recently upgraded him to the standing chair!

The standing chair has the same concept (get that blood pumping & don't pass out) but it is easier to operate and mimic's standing a bit more. I will admit, the first time he was in the standing chair I felt like someone punched me in the gut. I was so emotional seeing him up and be able to have his arms around me in an ALMOST hug. We would like to get a standing chair once we move home to help him keep that progress going. I will say, this by no means is a sign of him walking again but it certainly doesn't hurt!

As many of you know, he was chosen to do the Exo-Skeleton research project. He has to be able to withstand the standing chair for a certain amount of time before they will put him into the exo- skeleton suit. Once you are in the suit, you are very much strapped in and it would be hard to get him down to the floor and in a safe place if he was to pass out. He should start the skeleton suit next week!

Emotionally, things have been going as you can probably expect. We have our great hours and our bad hours. We get super encouraged and then very discouraged. Overall, I have been incredibly impressed with Derek's attitude during this process and can only pray that as things continue to move in a positive direction, he will only continue to feel more encouraged. We have started to see a counselor that is here on staff and we are hopeful that discussing the last 8 weeks will help us move forward.

No funny stories or tragic mishaps. His heart rate continues to be very high and they are keeping an eye on it. Please also be praying for our next roommate. Derek's current roommate heads back to the real world on Monday and we are very bummed. I have actually threatened to trip Ryan just so he will stay with us a few more weeks. Really praying we get someone just as great!

PS. We met with our Recreation Therapists and have been able to some really fun things! Tonight? Derek is heading to a driving range to learn how to golf in a handicap accessible golf chair! Don't worry, I will take pictures.

With Love,

The Lavenders

Our Journey to Healing Day 48

Proverbs 3:5-6

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart     and lean not on your own understanding; ⁶ in all your ways submit to him,     and he will make your paths straight.

With about 3 weeks of Chicago under our belt, we are feeling a little more confident and comfortable with each passing day. This weekend was so relaxing and we soaked up all the extra free time. Around here, they push their patients hard during the week and give them a nice break on the weekend. We had family visit (who we are also lucky enough to call close friends), learned to play a new game, went for a stroll around the park, and even snuck in a few naps. Our relaxing weekend came to end with a bang (pun intended) last night around 6:45pm.

Our family had just arrived from out of state and Derek and I went outside to meet them! We decided to go a couple blocks down to the neighboring hospital to get Derek some soup from their food court. I know, this sounds strange but they have great soup and Derek is still on an all liquid diet. After waiting in line, we got our food and then sat down at the tables to enjoy our dinner. The set up of the hospital cafeteria floor is almost like a mall. Very wide open with little restaurants and shops on each side. The middle has large cut outs where you can look down into the first floor open lobby. This hospital is fairly large and very open.

We were eating on the second floor at a round table when all of a sudden there was a lot a noise coming from the first floor. Since the whole hospital is very exposed and you can see down into the first floor, sound travels quickly. It was clear a large fight had just broken out with about 50-60 people screaming. I wasn't too concerned until I noticed the doctors and nurses who were sitting next to us scrambled in the opposite direction of the yelling. All of a sudden, the sound escalated quickly when a woman screamed, "Get out! Get out!" (still gives me chills). We (Derek, my Aunt and 3 cousins, and I), started to gather our stuff when "BANG, BANG!". Two very distinct noises (gun shots) went off.

We started running but we were in a very open area. Since it was Sunday evening, all the doors around us were locked and we were stuck in the upstairs atrium area. A nurse came running who had a badge and was able to let us into one of the locked offices. Another man was running as well and the 7 of us went into a corridor and found a conference room to hide in.

We proceeded to block the door (with a trashcan, ha), and moved to the back corner. My aunt then called 911 and proceed to report the incident. She explained what hospital we were at and that we heard gunshots. The emergency operator said ,"2 gunshots, correct?" Aunt Karen confirmed we had heard 2 as well. They proceeded to tell us to stay where we were and that the hospital was on lock down. We explained that we had someone in a wheelchair as well as a child with us. Sirens were going off everywhere and knew we were not the first to call in the emergency.

Honestly, at this point we were all very anxious but we felt confident we were in a safe place. Since the nurse had to let us into the closed doctor's office room, we figured it would be pretty tricky for someone to get to us. Lots of praying and 10 minutes later, an emergency operator called us and asked for information on our location. After staying on the phone with them and walking them through where we were, they informed us they would send police to come get us once it was safe.

We waiting a few more minutes and then a SWAT team arrived to escort us out. At that moment, I really felt like we were just living some sort of movie out in real life. It was so surreal.  I joked that at least I had something new to write about on the blog. The SWAT team informed us there was a fight but they could not confirm gunshots. They did say a marble table was broken...So they called in the SWAT team for a broken marble table?

When we were escorted out, the emergency room was still on lock down but we were able to get out safely. The irony? This was Derek's first adventure out for dinner. We started to go out Saturday night but he got anxious and we headed back to the rehab facility. I am going to be lucky if we get him out to dinner in the next month after this incident!!

Today, we are hoping to get him cleared for a soft diet. O the possibilities of things he could eat that are considered "soft"! We have also been receiving lots of cards and love packages, so thank you all so much. It really does just cheer him up.

We are hoping for an event free week, especially after last night!

With Love,

The Lavenders

Our Journey to Healing Day 45

James 1:2-4

² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

The book of James was always my favorite growing up and was a classic "go-to" when I  couldn't remember where I had left off in the Bible. Rough day being homeschooled? James 1. A boyfriend just broke up with me? James 1. I couldn't decide what I wanted to do when I grew up? James 1. I think back of all the "trials" I faced growing up and literally laugh. I'm pretty sure I thought the world was going to end when I couldn't sell my 4-H sheep my Junior year of HS due to miscommunication with the 4-H committee board. I also remember secretly dying inside when it took Derek 3 years to marry me. I promise I'm not quite as pathetic as this post is making me sound BUT I say it to point out "trials" we face. Yes, God does say we will face small and large trials. I am also not trying to put down anyone whose current trial includes deciding what hair color to go with for fall. I am saying that these verses have a whole new meaning in my life. They remind me that things could be much worse. I understand our trial may seem very hard to some and it is VERY HARD. But it is also not nearly as difficult as other trials people face throughout their lifetime. Does this seem fair? Meh. No. But as I often say to Derek when I serve him dinner, "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit".

Today I wanted to just share with you our new routine. Here at the Rehab hospital. He typically has around 3-4 hours of scheduled rehab per day. These workouts vary between OT (Occupational Therapy), PT (Physical Therapy), and possibly some group workouts.

We receive his schedule around 6pm the previous day and then make a game plan. I usually arrive between 7:15-8am each morning depending on when his first sessions starts. When I arrive, I help the nurses get him ready with the daily routine. Teeth brushed, shirt on, tummy binder in place(he calls it his waist trainer), ted hose in place, getting him into his chair, etc.

Once we get the sessions, the first few hours always go fairly fast. Derek works on things such as balance, strength, and transfers. With OT, he works more with daily life things such as putting on shoes, learning to get himself into his chair, or even simple things like putting in contacts. With PT, he really gets a workout. He does strength training and more workouts regarding his balance. Balance and flexibility will be key for him.

We can tell he is getting stronger, but with so many other broken bones, it is difficult for him to do a lot of these tasks on his own. So, here is a challenge for you. Sit down on the edge of your bed and lay back. Now with one elbow to the side, use that elbow to get yourself into a sitting position. But no using your abs or legs to help! (Remember Derek is paralyzed from chest down)  Well. I am going to guess that no one actually tried to do that but take my word for it, it is really difficult. Moving from that position will be the way Derek will need to lift and move himself around.

In between sessions, we also take medicine breaks, bathroom breaks, and breaks to meet with doctors. Honestly, our day fills up very quickly. He is usually finished with everything around 4 and then we fill up our remainder evening with visitors, games, a movie, or just trying to catch up on catching up. Visiting hours end at 8, so I gather up my stuff and head back to the condo.

So now you know more of our daily routine!

They did a doppler scan yesterday which showed NO blood clots in his legs (Wahoo!) which means we are able to participate in the  exoskeleton study. This is a big deal and we are very excited. If you want, search Exoskeleton suit and you will now know why Derek insists I call him Tony Stark.

Derek did get transferred over one bed to the room with a view. We also got a new roommate, Ryan. Ryan is awesome and around our age. He has a spinal injury as well from a dirt biking accident. We are very thankful that God provided Derek with someone who he can relate with a little more.

For this weekend, please be praying for Derek's heart rate. It is still very high and they are not sure what is causing it to race.

We appreciate you all!

With Love,

The Lavenders