My 5 Fears When I Found Out My Husband was Paralyzed
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Psalms 23:4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
Fear #1: Our Marriage Would Suffer
At the time of the accident, we had only been married 2 (almost 3) years. Still very much in the newlywed stage, my mind raced with how our happy marriage would most likely suffer. Although I wouldn’t recommend a spinal cord injury for anyone, I am proud that 4 years later, our marriage is stronger than ever. The accident has forced us to lean on each other and greatly improved our communication.
Celebrating Derek’s 31st in Kentucky
Fear #2: People Wouldn’t Want to Hang Out with Us
Call me crazy but I was very concerned that people would be uncomfortable around us. Perhaps they wouldn’t invite us over to dinners or on trips. Maybe they wouldn’t know what to say to us so they would just avoid us all together. Boy, was I wrong! Our friends and family showed up (and continue to show up) big time. From buying ramps to researching vacation spots, we’ve never felt left out or alone.
Fear #3: We Wouldn’t Be Able to Have Kids
Although this one is still TBD, my initial fears have been settled and I’m learning to trust in “thy will be done”. Don’t get me wrong, I know we would always prefer things to go our way (and smoothly), but the lessons we learn from the path least taken cannot be brushed off. I am a more empathetic person because of this life lesson.
Fear #4: He will be a Different Person
And when I say “different”, I wasn’t imaging a good kind of different. I was worried about his mental state. Through a lot of pray, perseverance, and just choosing joy, I’ve seen Derek be an amazing example to others just through his actions. Tragedies change us, there’s no doubt about that but it’s up to US to choose what that looks like.
Fear #5: Nothing Will Ever Be the Same
But really, does anything ever stay the same anyway? The fear of change has stopped me from doing many things but this change was forced upon me. I had no option but to adapt as quickly as possible. Our daily routine looks completely different. Our conversations now include accessibility, bowel and bladder, and wheelchair tires. Are there days we miss the before? Absolutely. 100%. Would we take it back? Eh. Ya. But man, we’ve learned a lot in just 4 years! We hope you can look back on the hard moments in your life and see the lessons learning.
